Leela of Spiritual wandering
After enlightenment, there is no desire. I have no strong desire. There is no strong will. Body has completely melted. Because there is no strong desire, body has become liquid. Body has become completely like butter covered with butter. That is why many people ask Me, “Swamiji, sometimes when I see, you look like a mother, woman. Sometimes, when I see, you look like a lion or man. Sometimes, when I see you, you look like a small boy. What is happening? I have some trouble in my eyes or what?”
Be very clear: Your eyes are perfectly all right. Because there is no strong desire or will in the body, it has become fluid. Whatever attitude this body takes, is radiated in the face, the body, and everything else. If the attitude of child or innocence is radiating, just the whole body language takes that attitude. If the attitude of mother takes place, the whole body melts in that attitude. If it takes the attitude of the lion, just the whole body melts in that attitude.
One more thing, you guys are all thinking enlightenment is a big freedom! It is not a big freedom. Whatever little freedom you have is also lost! Even your hand can be moved only as the Divine wants! Nothing can be done by your will.
Actually, when I crossed the Vindhyachal Mountains (dividing north and south India) which was the place from where Sage Agastya came down, I never wanted to go back. I never wanted to return to Tamilnadu. It is a land of ignorant people! I promised the Vindhya Mountains that I would never cross her again. Either I would do tapas till I die or I would become enlightened.
But, what to do? Of course, I never came back as the same person! It was not the same person who came back. After becoming enlightened, I had no will and I had no questions. Everything disappeared and there was never a decision from my side. What had to happen was simply happening in Me and through Me.